Friday, April 22, 2005


So, last night I ate at Wendy's. The prospect of a decent sized meat patty and chili beckoned. I like their chili, it's nothing special, but in the bland realm of fast food, it's a nice change of pace. The Big Bacon Combo and a side of chili seemed to be the right thing to do. I like to dip my fries in the chili and spoon some beefy chili goodness onto a few fries, before shoving the whole mess into my mouth.

After the story about the woman finding a finger in her chili, Wendy's is synonamous in my mind with severed fingers and chili. This really is not a problem for me. Being contrary, I could think of nothing better than to satisfy my hunger for a burger and chili at the Wendy's on Northern Boulevard, near Douglaston. It's almost a challenge, a dare. The odds are in favor of a finger free meal. Plus, it's always so damn hot you end up stirring and blowing on the chili endlessly to cool it, how could you not find the finger in that six ounce cup?

While in line, I was sizing up the crowd behind the counter, contemplating whether or not to ask "and a side order of chili, hold the finger" (laughter). How should I put it, so that I can get the maximum comedic impact? What is the correct wording to get:: severed finger+chili=laugh, into a compact zinger of a sentence?

Once I got up on line, the woman who was to be my server was spacing out at the register. She was a Hispanic woman, speaking spanish to the mostly Hispanic food prep crew. I suddenly realized that my joke would issue forth and then promptly die, only to complicate matters and be completely lost on her. Severed finger+chili="?Que?".

If my Spanish were better, I might have carried it off, but it's not until now, over twenty four hours later, that “dedo” the Spanish word for finger creeps back into my mind. But I never knew the Spanish for "severed".

Finger Chili story


Mark Sasahara said...

Bill, I thought of you and enjoyed the bacon cheesebuger in your honor. They're also open until 2am, God luv 'em!

Tricia in Kansas said...

ha ha ha! Hey I heard that was a hoax.

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