Saturday, January 07, 2006

New York drivers

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THIS is the kind of driver I have to deal with every day. They're all stupid and crazy and have no idea that there is a world outside of their one ton death missle.

During morning rush hour on 495 a couple of weeks ago, this moron decided to go four wheelin' to avoid traffic.
If you look closely, you will notice that the driver is on a very large expanse of snowy grass, NOT on the road. I was hoping that there was a fence or four foot wall blocking his path, alas, I think the poor jerk made it. Schmuck!

I'm a racist. I don't know why, but a lot of the Korean, Chinese and Hispanic drivers, the majority here in fabulous Flushing, always insist on trying to go around lines of waiting traffic. Today, while trying to get out of the municipal lot, a Chinese woman tries to go around me and only succeeds in blocking another driver trying to get out. The only thing between the blocked car and freedom is this impatient fool who thinks she can cut the line. She did not back up and I was not about to let her cut me off, so she cut into line behind me. I move up a car length, only to be presented with the same scenario in the lane crossing mine. Another fool trying to go around the line and causing traffic to snarl. They don't learn and so we are destined to repeat the same thing over and over. Why must I be tangled up their insanity? It so sorely tries my patience.

I am convinced that no one actually takes the driver's test. They are able to pay a fee for one and/or have someone take the test for them and avoid learning how to actually drive.

I admit, I am sometimes the asshole, but I at least signal and wave and I'm usually in a hurry. The rest of the time, I take my time.

I really miss KROCK, no more angry metal to accompany me whilst I drive the streets on New York. It's so great to have System Of A Down, or Avenged Sevenfold blasting loudly, as I weave in and out of traffic. I am usualy alone when driving maniacally. If I kill anyone, it will be myself. I try not to threaten pedestrians, I am a menace only to other vehicles.

It's even more fun if I'm drving a CC Rental Van. No Fear! They're usually decently kept up, so accelleration is pretty good and since I am higher up and larger than most traffic, I can nose my way to wherever I need to go.

I think I should pitch an RPG where you are driving in NYC and must contend with all this craziness. The addition of a turret with twin .50 Cal machine guns and an MK19 grenade launcher, could make things alot more fun. Ooo, a GAU-8 would be even better. Yeah, a real Gat.

I'm saving my pennies for various bits of camera and lighting gear, but now I guess I'll have to think about getting a better car stereo. Chicks don't dig tapes. A combo CD/MP3 player, perhaps.

2 comments:

alexis said...

Yeah, I don't know why, but white people seem to do everything right. It's nice to know that the goddess color cordinated people so we would know who to watch out for- otherwise we would have to think for ourselves and judge everyone individually and that would take too much time...

Mark Sasahara said...

I am Japanese, therefore, I am perfect.

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